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NaNoWriMo Winners Morph into Pillars of Pure Energy

In a surprise announcement today, the group that organizes National Novel Writing Month, popularly known as NaNoWriMo, introduced a new perk for winners: instant metamorphosis into a pillar of pure energy.

“Obviously, the primary motivation for most participants is the feeling of accomplishment they receive when they cross the finish line and type that last punctuation mark,” said Director of Recognition Ally Boutme. “However, we wanted to do something extra-special for those who stuck with it and completed the 50,000-word goal within the contest timeframe.”

In the past, when participants submitted the final installment of their novel through the official NaNoWriMo tracking system, they would receive access to a downloadable and printable certificate declaring them “winners” of the event. Now, the new reward will be applied automatically upon submitting that last chunk of narrative. (The certificates will remain available for those who want them.)

Those who write at least 50,000 words during November will transmogrify automatically into a pillar of pure white energy that is perfectly in tune with the cosmos. However, for those who do double duty and write at least 100,000 words over the course of the month, a gamut of color options will be unlocked, from Sith Lord red to electric blue, and even colors outside the human-visible spectrum.

“We set the threshold for winning the event at 50,000 words,” Boutme explained, “but we wanted to recognize those who went truly above and beyond in a customizable way.”

Although there is a lot of excitement among the NaNoWriMo community about this new benefit, some are concerned with what happens after they receive their reward.

“How does a beam of pure create complex characters and a plot anyone would want to read?” asked Keyla Tapper after hearing the news about the new NaNoWriMo perk. “Can it even type anything?” she added.

However, concerns such as Tapper’s seem not to have slowed the throng of WriMos who are continuing to complete their novels. Perhaps things will change next year, if this year’s winners are in fact no longer able to participate after converting their body mass into energy. But for now, at least, the onslaught of novels continues to rain down upon us all.