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Lotto Numbers Played Backward Could Kindle Apocalypse

With the recent record-breaking jackpot pool of the MightySphere Lottery, concerns are once again being raised that playing the winning numbers in the wrong order could trigger a planetary-level catastrophic event.

“While it’s not exactly settled science, the risk is real,” insisted John Herdsman of the Lottery Observation & Sanity Team, a watchdog group focused on the promotion of rational gambling. “We encourage everyone to pick their numbers responsibly, to ensure that they do not choose the winning numbers backward. Doing so could result in the immediate deaths of billions of people.”

According to Herdsman, previous disasters have been triggered by mishandled lottery number sequences for smaller pots. Examples include the 2004 tsunami that hit Thailand, as well as the crash of a Boeing 777 on an international flight from Sydney, Australia, to LAX that same year.

Herdsman is quick to warn, however, that not every natural disaster is the cause of lackadaisical lottery number picking. “While there is plenty of evidence that choosing the wrong numbers could engender worldwide destruction, there are certainly many other factors involved in any particular event: solar flares, plate tectonics, witchcraft, climate change, El Niño, butterflies, and the petty animosities of warring demigods, to name a few.”

Despite Herdsman’s warnings, individually people have little fear. If you are afraid of precipitating the end of human life – and indeed, most life on earth – keeping these few simple guidelines in mind will reduce the chances that the aliens who discover a vacant Earth in the future will blame you specifically:

  • Choose a winning set of numbers from a past lottery, as those numbers are statistically unlikely to win again
  • Buy the ticket for someone else
  • Pick a random sequence of letters instead of numbers
  • Use your birthday (or the birthday you claim when on a first date)

The winning numbers from last night’s jackpot are: 42 23 16 15 8, and the MightySphere Number 4