In an unexpected development, Hari Seldon’s hologram appeared today to an audience of a distracted intern to inform the human race of a new impending crisis.
“Y’all’re screwed,” Seldon began, before launching into a tirade about why, precisely, we all are screwed. Unfortunately, the intern was so stunned by the dead scientist’s appearance that afterward he only remembered the opening declaration.
In the years since Seldon established his posthumous, one-way communications device, it appears nobody has thought of setting up a way to record his pronouncements. The science of psychohistory also seems to have been insufficient in predicting the need for a “Replay” button.
The intern was playing a puzzle-battle game on his phone when the disconcerting event took place. “My thumb jerked and I accidentally made an in-app purchase,” he said. “It was only a buck ninety-nine, but it’s not like this is a paid internship,” he also said, renewing his inquiry about whether he would receive any compensation for this interview.
As for the content of Seldon’s message, the intern was less disturbed by it than the interruption it caused in his gaming. “I don’t know,” he said, “it’s like, uh, all the stuff that’s happening, and like, is it really any different, than, uh, well, what’s on Twitter every day?”
We also learned that he was aggressively trying to get past Level 49.
The Foundation did not reply to a request for comment. It is possible the contact information we have for the organization Seldon created to reestablish peace and prosperity to the galaxy is no longer current. In which case, we really are screwed.
